♪ If you're looking for me ♪
♪ You better check under the sea ♪
♪ 'Cause that is where you'll find me ♪
♪ Underneath the Sealab ♪
♪ Underneath the water ♪
♪ Sealab ♪
♪ At the bottom of the sea ♪
Application denied. Next!
You didn't even read his application.
Don't need to. Next!
What about the Equal Employment rules?
All they say is, I can't discriminate based on race, religion...
sex, age, handicaps, or political affiliation.
Political affili--OK.
So you won't hire him, but you'll hire a Nazi?
He's freelance.
Und mitout benefits, I might add.
Excuse me, but did you just wink at me?
No. Cincinnati hot plate?
- What? - Nicht.
Wait. You said handicap. This doesn't qualify?
Hi.
He ain't crippled. He's a shark man.
I actually prefer Homo Carcharodon.
I bet you do.
Now, you show me where it says I got to hire weresharks...
and I'll hire him. I'm a fair man.
More than fair, Herr Kapitan.
Crawl out of my butt, Hitler.
Come on, Debbie. Let's just go.
Shut up. What if he passes the civil service exam?
Well, next exam is Friday morning.
If he passes, yeah, I'll let him apply.
- You hear that, Sharko? - Mm-hmm.
- On one condition. - What?
Tell him to quit eating Hitler.
I thought he was a seal.
Cincinnati hot plate.
Forget it. I'm not tutoring him.
Why won't you help me help him?
Because you always get all jacked up about these little pet projects...
and drop them the minute you get bored.
- I do not. - Oh, really?
Hey, how are those Bosnian refugees doing?
Why does she no longer bring us food?
For your information...
shut up.
OK, Sharko. Let's start--
Did you see Stand and Deliver?
Yes. Now, in your grammar workbook--
With Eddie Olmos?
Sharko, we've only got two days.
I didn't see it because there's no TV out in the ocean...
but my dad Marco really loved Eddie Olmos.
I think because they're both Latino.
That's why I wish my dad was still around...
'cause I feel like I'm missing out on my Latino heritage...
and it's important.
I know. Take out your workbook!
- Debbie? - What?
I can't even speak Spanish.
Oh! Jeez!
You know how sensitive my snoot is?
Yes! Now take out your workbook!
Um...
I ate my workbook.
I thought the odds were 5 to 1.
No, not if Quinn won't tutor him.
Then give me five beans on Shark Man.
- Hesh... - What's the word, Sparks?
I'm gonna say this once more, and I'm gonna speak slowly...
because I think it's an important concept for you to grasp.
We don't take beans!
But these are magic beans.
Oh. Then why don't you just go down to Hesh's Little Acre...
and plant those magic beans?
And when the giant magic beanstalk grows up to the sky...
you can shinny up there, steal the evil giant's gold...
outrun the golden goose and the golden harp...
then come back down here to earth and place a real bet!
Well, how late are you open?
84 on reading comprehension.
That's really good, Sharko.
Yeah. I read a lot because I can't sleep.
Ooh, insomnia?
No. If I fall asleep, I'll die.
I have to constantly keep water moving over my gills...
or I'll suffocate.
Sharko, there's no water in here.
You're breathing air.
- Huh. - OK. Now, in your grammar--
God, what else did she lie to me about?
I mean, jeez, she probably lied about my dad being in the Foreign Legion.
Sharko, I don't know how to tell you this...
but your mom...ate your dad.
Oh, it all makes sense now...
like my aunt always saying my mom had good taste in men...
and then they'd look at me and laugh, like, knowingly.
Maybe you should bring this up with her.
Oh, I would, if that guy hadn't have put a scuba tank in her mouth...
and shot it so she exploded.
Oh, yeah. We'd have a little talk.
Bet on it.
No more water. You're gonna drown them.
Well, then why aren't they growing faster?
- Fish heads! - What?
Back in Indian days...
they used fish heads to fertilize their corn.
But these are magic beans!
Yeah, but I think the same principles ought to apply, though.
Yeah, but damn it!
- Just damn it! - What?
I should have never traded that cow.
For a handful of worthless beans.
Oh, shh shh shh. Don't you worry, darling.
What are you doing?
Setting her free... once that ligament heals up.
- Never mind. - She shouldn't even--
- No. - She shouldn't even be on that leg.
- No. - They got her so full of steroids--
Here's what's so damn funny--
It makes the cow sterile.
So even if you wanted to breed her...
and pass on those genes, you couldn't.
And I'll send $5.00 American to anybody who gets that reference.
Anyway... you're really gonna hire Sharko?
Hell, it won't come to that.
He ain't even gonna pass that test.
But what if he does?
Well, I'll think of some excuse not to.
There's too many of y'all around here already.
Excuse me?
We already got two blacks, plus whatever Virjay is.
You're lumping me in with a wereshark?
Not just you. All of y'all.
Well, you listen to me, you...cracker.
- Easy, girl. - Sharko is gonna pass that test.
I'm gonna make sure of that...
and I'll be front and center when you hire him...
with your cracker ass.
Naw. Don't worry. They think we're going to Box Canyon...
but we'll be 100 miles away at Silver Reef.
What do you mean, fish heads?
You know, like Squanto and the Pilgrims.
I'm not that kind of Indian, you nincompoop.
Is this about money?
Because we're gonna hook you up in the back end.
If we get the giant's gold.
When we get his gold. Bam!
I am not a Native American.
...me, he's right.
He's got facial hair. Real Indians can't grow it.
Hey, what are you trying to pull?
No. You're solving for
Uh...oh, man.
OK.
- Sharko-- - It's pretty like you...
and I'm the little bee...
bringing you pollen.
What am I going to do with you?
Let me pollinate your stamens?
Do you want to end up like the Bosnians?
What?
If you don't pass this test, you'll never get a job.
You'll never move out of that sunken ship.
You'll never meet a girl and fall in love.
Debbie, I--I already have.
Hang on there, Romeo.
We've got a lot of studying to do.
♪ Kno, kno, kno, kno... ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, ledge ♪
♪ When life puts you to the test ♪
♪ It's time to sink or swim, swim, swim, swim ♪
♪ Brush off your mind, put on your-- ♪
♪ Your thinking vest ♪
♪ And you're hitting the books again ♪
♪ Knowing knowledge is knowledgeable ♪
♪ Collecting data that is factual ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ I'll tell you now, it's the only way ♪
♪ And gather more every day ♪
♪ Look inside ♪
♪ Where you can long-divide ♪
♪ And memorize ♪
♪ The periodic table ♪
♪ Knowledge ♪
- Hit me up high. - No.
- How come? That was-- - No high-five.
Respek knuckles.
♪ Respek knuckles ♪
Sharko, I've never seen anybody learn so much so fast.
Well, sharks have way bigger brains than skeletal fish...
but I couldn't have done it without you guys.
Oh, Sharko, I am so proud of you.
That means so much to me.
Sharko?
Sharko. Sharko?
Sharko! Don't ruin it.
Oh, I always do that.
It's fine. Try to get some sleep.
Hey, yeah. This will be the first time I've ever been to sleep.
See? Every day is a new adventure.
Yeah, well, good night.
I hope nothing happens to me.
I'm so proud of him.
You know what? I'm proud of you.
Really?
Yeah, because you finally finished something you st--
Don't start about the Bosnians.
I swear to God, ll don't want to hear it.
God? There is no God.
Oh, then I guess you don't want these zesty wings.
Oh, yes, we do, Sweet Lord.
No. Sorry, Daddy.
- Please. - No, no, no, no.
- You watch me do this. - No!
Who's laughing now, Cincinnati hot plate?
- What? - Nothing.
You had to piss Quinn off, huh?
I mean, look at these odds. There is no way I can cover that.
You never saw me. Giddyap, girl!
Nobody gets that joke!
Man, he went down like a bag of oats.
Wham! But now where are we gonna get the fish heads?
Oh! You still got that hacksaw?
But that can't be. Check again.
Sharko...Sharko...
Nope. Never signed in, and this clipboard...
Is almost never wrong, Cincinnati hot plate.
- What? - Do what?
Damn! I bet he overslept. Come on, Quinn.
He's not in there.
Well, where the hell is he?
Oh, man! That is fricking nasty!
Oh, my God! It smells so--Oh!
Hey, have you two seen-- Oh, my God!
What did you do?
Well, we were trying to get these damn beans to grow.
So Sharko got us some fish heads. Wham!
And plenty more where those came from.
- Sharko! - Oh, hey, guys.
You had us worried sick.
You're supposed to be taking the exam right now.
Oh, man. Is that today?
♪ Look inside ♪
♪ Where you can long-divide ♪
♪ And memorize the periodic table ♪
♪ Knowledge ♪
♪ Respek knuckles ♪